Parenting, the Lord, and other such wonderful things.

Now that things have finally settled down, I would like to share with all of you how the past few months have been. There has been so much joy, so much pain, so much uncertainty, and so much grace. It’s all too much to explain over a cup of coffee or through a blog, but I want to give credit to Whom it is due, and also share the things I have been learning.

Parenting is amazing. Can I just say that? Being a mommy has taught me more patience, understanding, compassion, and “lettting go” than I ever imagined. Being a nanny for a long time sort of prepared me for it, but I never knew it would be this GOOD!

I still remember when we first brought her home. So tiny, so vulnerable, but ours. Ours! (I am still wrapping my mind around the fact that I get to keep her.) I spent night after night waking up to an alarm to feed a sleepy baby that could barely eat through the lethargy. I would have to strip her down to her diaper and blow on her tummy to keep her awake. Otherwise, the girl never would have eaten. And then there was the reflux. She would spit up a ton if we laid her flat, so she slept in a bouncy seat so she would be on an incline. I slept on the couch so Josh could get a full night’s sleep since feeding alarms went off every 2 hours. I was tired. No, I was exhausted. I was already in the negative from being in the hospital myself and then being with her for 5 weeks in the NICU. But my patience (almost) never wore thin, and my love for this little baby grew and grew. On those late nights when I was beyond my breaking point with fatigue, I would think of Mary. I would think of how she must have treasured Jesus. I would think of all that she had been through to give birth to him. And I would think about how, if it weren’t for Jesus, I wouldn’t even being holding this little baby in my arms at all. That was what got me through, and still gets me through, every day.

I have had a greater understanding of grace since meeting our “big girl”. I know that if it weren’t for God, she wouldn’t be here. It was a miracle to me that my midwives caught that she wasn’t growing because had they not caught it, she would have died in my tummy before my next appointment. And when she was born, her lungs were in much better shape than we expected. (I could hear her screaming down the hall, through closed doors!) She was bigger than she should have been, too. Grace. It’s all grace.

Her stay in the NICU was long and hard, but we are so thankful for Texas Children’s Hospital and the staff there. Josh and I spent countless days driving to and from the hospital just to get to feed her or hold her or read a book to her. Some days were joyful, and others were heart-wrenching. On days when we would get bad news, I thought that I would never be okay again. It was hard to ever be happy for fear of the next day bringing devastating news. But we made it through! Aliza learned to eat on her own and control her own body temperature. She grew from 3 pounds, 7 ounces to 4 pounds, 10 ounces. And 5 weeks after she was born, she finally came home. We called her “wireless baby” for the first few days because we had never held her before unattached from wires, iv’s, and tubes. Josh danced around with her while holding her and said, “Look! I can move more than 3 feet with her in my arms!” That was a beautiful moment to see.

We know that if she had been born at any other time, and without modern medicine and technology, she wouldn’t be here. It is a sobering thought, but we know that it is all part of the Lord’s plan for Aliza.

In November, she had her surgery. I will never forget those moments before they took her out of our arms. She was wrapped in her brown and pink fleece blanket. I was holding back tears as I knew the inevitable was around the corner. I was scared to death. She was barely six pounds, and I knew the dangers of anesthesia. But I kept reminding myself that God had gotten her this far by His goodness, and will continue to do so. And what do you know? Surgery went as well as it possibly could have gone!

And then, in December, we got great news! I sat anxiously in the doctor’s office, hoping and praying that she might not need surgery. But I thought my hopes were far-fetched. When her doctor told us that she didn’t need surgery for now, I was speechless. I don’t like to cry in front of people, so I waited until the drive home. With tears of joy streaming down my face, I told God, “Thank You”. I didn’t know what else to say, but the gratitude I felt that day was tremendous.

And throughout the past 6 months, God has provided for us. This has been a huge lesson for me. I have always worried about finances, but I truly could do nothing but trust God since Aliza has been here. Through friends, family, and people we don’t even know, we have been able to pay our bills despite me not being able to work. Every month since July, it appears that we only have enough to get us through the next couple of weeks. But miraculously, we have been sustained for 6 months! We are so thankful to all of you that have blessed us with prayer, financial support, and emotional support! And we are very thankful to God for being so good to us.

There is so much more I wanted to say, but I don’t know how to put it in words. The past 5 months have been the craziest, scariest, happiest, most joyful time in my entire life. I love being a mommy, and I love having Josh as my parenting partner. He is an amazing daddy!

I just feel so, so incredibly blessed, and even though things are still scary since Aliza isn’t totally out of the woods, I feel more secure in God’s promises than I ever have in my entire life. I am amazed that God uses someone so small and vulnerable to teach me great things.

What a wonderful, indescribable God we serve!

Waiting is the hardest part!

Well friends, it has been a while since I have updated. It’s mostly because there isn’t a whole lot to update on. Basically, we are playing the waiting game.

Aliza Jane’s creatinine levels have stayed around 1.2 with a few variations in the hundredths value. (Is that a right way to say it? It sounds very math teacher-ish.) This means that as of right now, they are just going to monitor her. The fact that the levels are staying the same means her kidney function is not improving, but it’s also not really getting worse. This is good news because we are trying to prolong surgery as much as possible. The doctors have said that 4.5 pounds is the magic weight we are trying to get her to so that the risk of surgery is less. With her being so small, surgery isn’t a good idea right now. The doctors are actually hoping to prolong the surgery past 4.5 pounds if her kidneys will allow it. So she MIGHT get to come home before surgery and just get labs done twice a week until she is a few months old (maybe 3-6 months) and then have surgery. We know that it is possible to outgrow hydronephrosis due to blockages, but the doctors don’t think this is likely in her case.

We aren’t sure which surgery she is going to need because the doctors have told us two different procedures, but it looks like open pyeloplasty will be most likely. This is where they go in and remove the parts of her ureters that are obstructed and reattach the ureter to each kidney. Aliza Jane has bilateral blockage, meaning in both kidneys. Bilateral blockage is less common than unilateral (one kidney) blockage, and it is much more common in boys, so she is really a rare case!

But other than the kidneys, she is doing so well! She is gaining weight like crazy. She is up to 3lb, 15.5oz tonight, so her goal of 4.5 pounds is even closer. She is also 43 centimeters long, which is 2 centimeters longer than she was at birth! She also practices bottle feeding twice a day now and is able to eat about 2/3 of her milk on good days. This is an incredible accomplishment for her because usually babies her size can’t coordinate breathing, sucking, and swallowing at the same time, but she has done it like a pro since the first time she practiced with a bottle! She’s a good eater!

She had a head ultrasound and another kidney ultrasound done yesterday. Her head ultrasound came back normal! She had no brain bleeds, which is a preemie complication sometimes. Her kidney ultrasound didn’t reveal much change. Her kidneys are still the same size, but now that have a sort of “sludge” in them. The doctors told us this is from the urine just sitting there. The walls of her kidneys are a little enlarged too from the pressure of the sludge. We are told this is nothing to worry about at the moment and that eventually the kidneys will get rid of it all.

This is still a trying and difficult time for Josh and me. With Josh in school and back to work, he doesn’t get to see our girl as much as he’d like. And we don’t get to see each other much either. Also, we are constantly on an emotional roller coaster with hopeful days and not so hopeful days. It is hard. Very hard. And even though Aliza Jane’s condition is common and we are told the surgery is very routine, there are still the “what-ifs” floating around inside our brains. We are trying to trust in God for her life, and that’s all we can do.

So there you have it! We are just waiting to see what her kidneys will do over the next few weeks. She will stay in the NICU still for a while. I’m guessing at least until the end of the month. So, please pray that her kidney function improves or stays the same and that it doesn’t decrease. That could mean surgery when she’s too small. And pray that she keeps putting on weight and growing!

Thank you to everyone for all your love, support, and prayers! We are so humbled by all of your kindness!

Kidneys, kidneys, kidneys…

Who would have thought I would have said that word a billion times in one week?  But Aliza Jane is still having issues with hers, so we are trying to figure out what to do next.

Here is the scoop:

Her creatinine levels went up from Friday.  On Friday, they were .95, and today they were 1.3.  When I found out this news, I immediately broke down in tears.  I’m sure the other moms in the milk bank enjoyed the sounds of my sniffles along with the airy rhythms of all of the pumps not so gently squeezing the life out of us all.

Anyway, we spoke to a urology student on Friday who was following Aliza Jane, and he scared me half to death.  He told us that her kidneys could potentially fail in the near future, that her surgeries would be very dangerous, and that her kidneys were doing terribly.

However, we spoke to a neonatology resident today at my request, and he had a very different story to tell us.  We asked him about her raised creatinine levels, and he said that while they don’t like it that her levels are that high, it would still take years for her to sustain enough kidney damage to fail.  He also said that the surgery they do to fix this problem is risky just like any other surgery due to anesthesia, possibility of infection, etc.  But he said he did a month of pediatric urology during his education, and basically all they did was treat what Aliza Jane has.  He reassured us that it is very routine.  Not only that, but it is minimally invasive.  If you want to read about the procedure, this is a good website for it:

Percutaneous Nephrostomy Tube

Once they drain her kidneys, her kidney function will improve.  She will most likely have the tubes in her for a while.  I am guessing that they will keep them in and let her grow.  That way, they can see if she will outgrow the blockage that is in her kidneys or just let her get bigger before they do a more invasive operation to remove the blockage.  Once they remove the blockage or she outgrows it, they will be able to remove the tubes, and more than likely, her kidney function will be at 100%.  It will be a long road for her the next few weeks, but we are praying she gets through it and comes out on the other side nice and healthy.

So, yes, it is scary because it is still surgery on such a tiny little one, but I feel much better today than I have in a few days.  Aliza Jane is a very strong baby who continually improves in every other area.  She is up to 31 cc’s a day for each feeding.  (Unfortunately, my milk supply is getting less and less with each day no matter what I do.  I am pretty sure that she will run out of milk sometime tomorrow night or Wednesday morning as it is now taking me 2 pumping sessions to get enough for one feeding for her and she eats 8 times per day.  I simply can’t pump 16 times a day.) She has been practicing drinking my milk with a bottle and yesterday she drank 15 cc’s with the Occupational Therapist she is working with!  She has only done 5-7 cc’s on the other days because she falls asleep!

She is also maintaining her own body temperature very well, so she is off her heat in the isolette, though she still spends her days in one.  She is keeping her blood sugar levels up, and she is more alert every day.  We had a Developmental Specialist come see her today, too, and she said that she is doing very well.  Her only draw back is that she is not completely feeding on a bottle yet, but she reassured us that she will learn that over time.

We are very proud of our little lady!  Not only is she a beauty, but she has made so much progress.  We can not wait to get the kidney issues behind us and move on from all of this stress.  And I can’t wait until the day when she doesn’t have to be poked with needles and have all sorts of monitors stuck to her beautifully pink skin!

Please continue to pray for her and for the doctors to have wisdom about further plans for our Aliza Jane.  We just want her to be healthy and home with us!

11 Days Old…

Aliza Jane (as we have decided to call her instead of just Aliza) is growing!  She has kept her weight up at 3 pounds, 9 ounces for the past 2 days!  This is great news as she needs to keep growing in case she needs surgery.

Speaking of surgery, this is the whole story on that:  Aliza Jane still has elevated creatinine levels.  Creatinine is made in the body and filtered out through the kidneys at a consistent rate.  She is not filtering out the creatinine as fast as she should be.  Typically, infants have some creatinine in their body that is transferred from their mother at birth, but they filter it out within the first day or so of life.  Aliza Jane’s creatinine level increased during her first day of life to 1.7.  She has since gotten it down to .95, so it is decreasing, but not fast enough.  Her kidneys are still full of urine, and one has gotten slightly worse.  She is passing a normal amount of urine in her diaper, though, so that means that she does not have 100% blockage.  As for her creatinine,  the urologist said that if her levels do not get lower than .8 or .9 in the next week or two, she will need surgery to drain her kidneys or surgery to remove the blockage in her kidneys.  Otherwise she could face complete kidney failure in as little as 4-6 weeks.  If they choose to drain her kidneys, they would put tubes through her back into her kidneys to drain the excess urine.  If they decide to remove the blockage, this will require invasive surgery.  The urologist emphasized several times that either one would be very dangerous for a baby her size due to the anesthesia and other risks involved.  In other words, we want her creatinine levels to decrease so that they can postpone surgery as long as possible.  The only way she would not need surgery is if her creatinine levels decrease to what we think the urologist said was .2.  In that case, they would just monitor her and perhaps do surgery later on in life.  It is also possible that she could outgrow the blockage with time, but again, they won’t let her just be under observation unless her creatinine levels are very, very low.

This news was heartbreaking to me.  I cried the whole day they gave us this news.  I was so exhausted both mentally and emotionally already that I just couldn’t hold myself together.  Since we found out this news, I have been trying to trust in God with my daughter.  But it is very hard.  Everyone keeps saying, “God has it under control” or “God knows what He’s doing”, and as much as I want those things to comfort me, it is very hard.  Because I know that God, in his infinite wisdom, doesn’t always make things easy or perfect.  He doesn’t always heal.  He doesn’t always raise from the dead.  And He was still in control when my brother was killed 5 years ago.

So, this has been a huge mental struggle for me.  Josh keeps telling me that it seems like I am already mourning her death even though she is still here.  In a way, he is right.  I am trying my hardest not to set myself up for heartache by expecting the worst. But that is not fair to Aliza Jane.  I have to remind myself when I’m holding her and loving her that I shouldn’t hold back because it’s not fair for her to have a mommy who is afraid to love her because I don’t want to be hurt.  I love her so much anyway.  There is really no way I couldn’t.  So for now, I am trying my best to just enjoy being with her and enjoy being her mommy.  But a part of me is heartbroken every time I look at her because I can’t tell the future, and I am scared to death of it if I were to be honest.  Please understand how vulnerable I am being with these feelings.  It is embarrassing to be saying all of these things, but I think it’s important that I share them, especially since I believe if I don’t get them out, I will end up driving myself crazy.

But, on the positive side, Aliza Jane has been maintaining her own blood sugar levels without a glucose drip for several days now!  She finally got her IV removed, and the only things hooked up to her now are her feeding tube and all of her monitors.  Also, she has been practicing eating with a bottle once a day with an occupational therapist, and she is able to suck and breathe at the same time.  That’s a great accomplishment for her!  Also, she was lifting her head up as she was leaning on my chest during our skin to skin holding time last night.  And while I know she wasn’t completely horizontal on her tummy, but rather on an incline on my chest, she is still able to use those muscles.  I felt so proud of her!

She really is as cute as ever, and she is becoming more aware of her surroundings.  She is staying awake for longer periods of time, and we are really seeing more of her spunky personality coming out every day.  We love her so much, and we just can’t believe sometimes that she is ours!

Please continue to pray for her.  Pray for complete healing of her kidneys!  And pray that if she does need surgery, that she will be strong (as she has already proven to be!).  And please pray for me.  This is by far the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life, and I am very fragile right now, but I need to be strong for Aliza Jane.

One Week Old!

I wanted to write a quick update since it feels like we have fallen off the blog bandwagon.  It’s a lot easier to just do facebook/twitter updates from my phone since we are so busy being up at the hospital and getting ready for our move.  But I don’t want to keep you guys in the dark by just doing 140 character updates!

Aliza is one week old today.  I can’t believe that.  It has gone by in a blur for sure.  She is doing well.  She sleeps a whole lot.  She tends to wake up before feedings cause she gets fussy sometimes when she is hungry.  Otherwise she is an angel who just sleeps and makes cute faces.  She cracks us up! When she is trying to wake up and is having a hard time with it, she lifts her eyebrows really high as if that will help her eyes to open.  It is adorable.

As for her health, she is now moved to the level 2 NICU.  She got moved there on Monday night because she has been breathing on her own very well.  She still can’t maintain her own body temperature so she is in a heated isolette.  Luckily, we are allowed to stick our arms in and touch her little head, feet, and tummy.  These touches are so important to her development, and we love getting to feel her soft skin and hold her tiny, long-toed feet.  We also get to hold her most days. I do “kangaroo care” with her.  this is where you do skin to skin contact.  It’s so cute!  I wear a tank top, and they tuck her little butt and feet into the top of it and she rests her head on my chest.  I love that time more than any other because I can feel her breathe and the warmth of her skin on mine makes me feel better about her being alone in the isolette the rest of the time.  I hate that she is alone in there, but I also know that she needs the quiet, restful environment of it to grow.  I still cry every day though when I’m at home because I miss her, and I am grieving the loss of holding my baby in her first days of life.  I’ve never cried this much about anything.  It’s exhausting both emotionally and physically, and I’m also going through a ton of hormone changes, so that makes it even harder.

Anyway, back to Aliza Jane.  She had her VCUG today.  We have been waiting since Monday for this test because it kept getting pushed back.  On Monday, she was supposed to get a catheter in her urethra, but the radiology technicians couldn’t get it in because they literally couldn’t see it.  It was too tiny.  But she cried and cried about it, so they didn’t try very hard.  They also didn’t want to risk infection.  So they rescheduled it for Tuesday, but the urologist go too busy, so they finally did it today.  I was dreading the results of this test, but it turned out well!  A VCUG is a procedure in which they inject dye into the bladder through a catheter to see if there is reflux of urine back into the kidneys.  There was no reflux as the dye stayed in her bladder.  This is great news, but she still has the blockage in her kidneys, so we will have to talk to the urologist about what to do next.  Most likely it will be an ultrasound and monitoring of her condition.  The good thing is, she is producing a normal amount of urine for  baby her size, so we are hoping that the blockage will correct itself in time.

They are also doing a series of tests on her because she has had low blood sugar.  We had geneticists and other doctors taking blood and examining her yesterday and today.  They are trying to determine if the blood sugar issue is just because she is a preemie or if there is an underlying cause.  Please pray that all of these tests come back normal.  I would love to explain all of the tests, but I don’t understand them myself, so I don’t want to butcher them.  All I know is that the more tests they want to run on her, the more I worry about her.  It has been extremely hard for me emotionally and some days I wish they would just do the tests without telling me about them.  But really, I do want to know.  I just don’t want to worry! 🙂

They took her off of her glucose drip IV today for 24 hours to see how her blood sugar did on its own.  Normal blood sugar for babies her size is 54+.  When they took it before they took her off the IV, it was 86.  Tonight, 10 hours after the glucose was stopped, it was 69!  This is great news because she is maintaining her blood sugar with just her feedings.  She is up to 27 cc’s per feeding, which is just 3 cc’s (or milliliters) short of an ounce!  She gets fed every 3 hours.

I am pumping milk for her around the clock.  I was doing it every 3 hours even through the night, but my supply has topped off at 30 cc’s per pumping session, so in order to increase it, I am pumping every 2 hours during the day and every 3 at night.  This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, but it is so worth it.  I will stick with it no matter what.  But please pray with me that my supply will increase!  Otherwise, she will surpass what I am able to make in just a few days and she will have to be put on formula.  I want to keep her on my milk as long as possible because it is so much better for her!

That’s all the update I can think of right now.  Forgive me for the sloppy, unfancy writing, but it’s too late to be eloquent right now!

Also, if you want to visit Aliza, we are up there every day.  Just text or call us!

~Aliza’s mama

August 20th update…2 days old!

Hey friends!

It is hard to believe that Aliza is just two days old.  Part of me feels like it’s been forever since she came into our lives, and part of me feels like I just heard that first cry of hers as she was coming into this world.

Being a mommy is fantastic beyond words, and I know Josh feels the same way about being a daddy.  We just can not get enough of our little girl!  Every moment with her is so precious and special.  Even just watching her sleep feels like the greatest, most fun thing in the whole world!

Aliza is doing so well!  All of the nurses keep complimenting her and saying how cute she is.  Josh and I are a little biased, but we think she’s just the most beautiful baby.  Her skin is a great shade of pink, and she’s got gorgeous eyes.  And yes, folks, she has hair, and it is strawberry blonde!  Looks like she could end up being a red-head like her daddy!  Her tiny little toes and fingers are adorable, and she likes to sleep with her hand up by her face or head.  She’s just awesome.

As for her health, she is thriving!  She has only lost 2 ounces, which is typical of newborns.  She started off eating 4 cc’s of formula a day, and is now up to 8 cc’s, and she is digesting all but around 1 cc per feeding.  The nurses said that is perfectly normal.  She is a bit jaundice, which is also expected in a premie, so she is under billirubin lights at the moment.  The more she goes potty, the more this will improve.

Speaking of going potty-her kidneys!  The doctors are going to be doing testing to her kidneys on Monday to determine what is going on.  They are going to put a catheter in her and inject dye that will show them what the fluids are doing in her kidneys.  There is one of two things going on-either she has reflux, which is where urine backs up into the kidneys, or she has an obstruction, which may or may not require surgery.  We will know more about that after the test.

The good news is, she is producing more urine in her diaper and she is going poop quite a bit.  She had already gone twice today when we went to see her around 1pm!  Way to poop, little one!

The nurses also told us that she may be moved to the level 2 NICU in a few days. This is amazing news because that is a level down from where she is now.  Dr. Espana said with great delight that it could mean she goes home in 2 weeks.  We shall see.  Either way, I am so, so proud of our little lady!

As for me (well, some of you might like to hear how mommy is doing! 😉 ), my recovery from the c-section is going well.  A doctor came and removed my bandages this morning, which, I might add, probably hurt more than anything else I’ve gone through thus far.  Imagine a band-aid that measures 6 inches by 12 inches, but 10 times more sticky being ripped off.  Yikes.  The doctor told me I could do it to which I replied, “No, I really can’t.  You have to do it cause I don’t have it in me to hurt myself like that.”  So, she ripped it off in what was supposed to be one pull, but her hand slipped, so she had to do it twice.  Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie.

Also, and this may be too much information, so if you don’t want to know, stop reading here, because I delivered so early and my uterus was so small, my bladder was up higher than it was supposed to be when they cut me open.  So, Dr. Espana had to push my bladder down and cut my uterus as low as he could, which turned out to be not low at all.  In addition, since my uterus still had 7 weeks of stretching left to do, the walls were insanely thick compared to a normal c-section.  Dr. Espana said that normally when he cuts a uterus, it is paper thin and splits right open.  With mine, he had to cut numerous times just to get through the uterine wall.  When he finally got his fingers in, he said, my uterus was about an inch and a half thick.  So, it took over an hour to stitch everything back up because of the amount of cutting he had to do.  He also told me, and I am still grieving this, that since the cut is higher up than it was supposed to be, that a vaginally delivery will be out of the question for the rest of my pregnancies.  It would just be too dangerous, and he does VBAC’s so I know he’s not messing around.

So, I will probably be discharged tomorrow.  We will visit our baby girl in the morning and then get some good rest at home before starting the whole process of being NICU parents.  You are all more than welcome to carpool with us to visit or come visit while I’m up here.  I am going to be at TCH pumping as often as I can, so there will be plenty of opportunities to see her!  Just call or text us first!

Birth Day

Leanne, Julie’s sister, and Josh’s SIL here! My mom and I flew in on Saturday and were privileged to be here today for the birth of….

Aliza Jane Fisk!!!!!!! IT’S A GIRL!!!!!!!

3# 7 0z, 16 inches long, and she was yelling right away when she came out! Good strong lungs! That’s a great thing!
Here is a watered down account of what happened– I’ll leave the details to the proud parents!
Last night–August 17– the baby experienced some heart decelerations. Long story short, those decelerations continued into the afternoon, and it was decided that it would be in baby Fisk’s best interest to come out and meet Mommy and Daddy.
She was born at 4:44 by c-section. Julie was awake and was allowed to touch her briefly before Aliza was transferred to the NICU. Daddy went with Aliza and Julie was given some drugs to help her relax while they stitched her up.
Josh came to the room to see us and tell us that SHE was doing really well. He handed us the video camera he had used and we were able to watch her! You can find the video on facebook!
Not too long after we made a million phone calls, Dr. Espana came in to tell us how it all went in his opinion. He was very pleased with how the procedure went, how Aliza did, and how Mommy did. He also said that he was very glad they made the decision to take her today and felt more than sure that it was was the right time.
For now Aliza is in the NICU at Texas Children’s Hospital, across the way from a little chunker named Lincoln. He’s cute, but not as cute as her.
She is on 23% pressurized oxygen (air we breathe is 21%) and glucose water in an IV. Her heart rate is good, oxygen saturation is good, and respiratory rate is good. There is no news on the kidneys yet. Tests are being run, an x-ray was done, and so was an ultrasound.
Josh and Julie will be able to hold her once all of the tests come back and the doctors give them the green light. But for now, they can touch her, take pictures, and oou and aah a lot. Visitors are being kept to a minimum for right now J
There’s not much else to say! She’s beautiful and looks great– she’s much heavier than they thought she’d be, and longer– the NICU nurse said she would guess that she’s 32 weeks gestation.  She’s nice and pink! But she is incredibly small.
I know Josh and Julie would be quick to thank everyone for their continued prayers and encouraging words. I also imagine they would provide you with ways you can keep praying and helping–
Pray for Aliza’s kidneys, that the blockages will clear up quickly and on their own. Pray that she will only progress in her condition and that the new parents will be able to hold their little girl TONS AND TONS, and soon! And pray for Aliza to respond well to this big world she’s really not supposed to be in quite yet.

You’ll get an update from the Fisk’s soon enough!

Tuesday Night Nonupdate

No new news today, so this post will be (kinda) short.  The only real activity (besides The Constant Stream of Nurses) was from a couple of check-ins from Dr. Espana and our midwife Dawn.  Our goal is still to make it to 34 weeks (thursday) and Espana actually said today we may even try for a few days past that.  We are still waiting on a growth check ultrasound with our specialist Dr. Carpenter.  Also still waiting on a visit from a pedi-urologist who can tell us what to expect after the birth in terms of probabilities for babies who have hydronephrophsis (as nothing is known about the cause or extent, we can’t be sure of anything yet).  In a way it is a good thing that we are relatively low priority here.  It’s great that the baby can stay longer in it’s mommy’s tummy and if the doctors were too concerned about the baby needing to come out sooner then things would be happening a lot faster.

So we’re taking it slowly each day just grinding it out, but we do have some needs to be filled.  I’m sure most of you know that Julie and I run a ministry with our apartments and have two activities we’re doing this week.  We’re putting on a blood drive friday from 3-6 in the afternoon and though we don’t know yet what day our delivery will be, we would love if one or two people could step in and help us out.  It’s a pretty low maintenance gig.  We simply need someone to sort of ‘host’ the event.  Also we are having a ‘smores’ night on monday the 30th which we will need a volunteer to help me, or in the event I am not available someone to also ‘host’ the event.  Anyone interested can text Josh or email julieafisk@gmail.com.

Monday’s update!

Here’s a quick update from Little Fisk’s mommy!

Nothing much has changed since yesterday. Dr. Espana came to check on the baby twice today, and he is very, very pleased with how strong the baby’s heartbeat is. He said he was really excited to see how well the baby is behaving. This is encouraging news, of course!

As of now, the plan is still to deliver at 34 weeks which will be this Thursday. However, Dr. Carpenter is going to do a growth ultrasound either tomorrow or Wednesday to see if the baby has grown any. If it has, they may try to keep Little Fisk in for a few more days. If baby hasn’t grown, Thursday will be the day.

As for my pre-eclampsia, it is getting worse, but I still have a mild case. They are just monitoring me with daily blood tests. (Every time I get a new needle poke, I have to remind myself who it is for! I think I’ve been poked almost 20 times in the past 5 days. Oi!)

My blood pressure keeps going up and down and up and down but seems to be worse when things are exciting. So for now, we are limiting visits since they seem to raise my blood pressure. Boo!

Being off 24-hour monitoring is wonderful! I am getting much more rest than I was before which is good because I am gearing up for Thursday.

In addition, I have had some mild contractions in my back that are painful, but not terrible. They do wake me up sometimes, though. But don’t worry, they aren’t the real thing yet!

On a side note, it is so amazing to have such caring doctors. Dr. Carpenter was much better to me yesterday. I think he may have just been having a rough day on Wednesday. And Dr. Espana is the most caring doctor I could ask for! Not only does he come to check on me when he doesn’t have to (the nurses always say he could have just called them to get the info he gets when he visits me, but he comes to see me in person instead!), but he also answers any and all questions with no hesitation. Also, his wife’s birthday is today, but he still came by at the end of his shift really quick to see me! How awesome is that?!

We will be getting a visit from the pediatric urologist tomorrow or Wednesday, and we will discuss the baby’s kidneys. We will let you all know more as we know it.

Little Fisk is a fighter, we have no doubt of this! Please keep praying that baby will stay in as long as possible.

And on a side note…please pray for me. I am very stressed about delivery. Consciously and subconsciously I am very scared. I haven’t been through delivery in the first place, so I have no idea what to expect, but all of these factors added in make it an uncertain and intimidating thing for me. It’s already hard not to feel at fault for what is going on since the problem is most likely my body (even though I know I have no control over it), so a part of me is scared that I won’t be strong enough or my body won’t work right to deliver this baby. That’s the honest truth about how I am feeling, and it’s a quiet battle going on in my mind.

Thank you guys again for all our support! We love you!

Lazy Sunday

Right now it’s a nice afternoon, Julie is taking a nap and daddy over here is half watching what will hopefully be another Cardinals victory over the Cubs (thank you WGN!).  Our specialist, Dr. Carpenter, came by this morning and took another ultrasound (but this one on a crazy advanced ultrasound machine).  And Julie is finally of continuous fetal heartbeat monitoring!  We’ve gotten to see some of the family members we were missing most, and things are weirdly turning into something of a “hospital normal”.

The ultrasound that took place this morning revealed no breaking news or emergency changes which is awesome.  We found out the umbilical chord blood flow is “lower” which is good, think of it like blood pressure.  It was “high” and is now more normal.  Also of note is that the kidneys are still distended (full) and thus still obstructed (we have pictures of little fisk’s kidneys to put up ^_^).  The doctor also saw that the amniotic fluid has gone down since the last ultrasound on Friday which is slightly discouraging.  Especially since Julie has been doing such a great job of trying to take food/fluids in only thinking of the baby (she’s an awesome mother already).  Dr. Carpenter also affirmed our main OB saying that our goal at the moment is 34 weeks.  Likely around that time we will be delivering which means we could see the little bugger as soon as thursday or friday!  Julie had also been worried about having no other options than a c-section and the doctor let her know that the preferred delivery will be vaginally.

*news break* As I was writing, “Caring Critters” came by.  Had no clue our hospital did this, but they bring in a couple dogs and let you pet them and interact for a few minutes.  Awesome!  We both miss our little rat terrier so badly!

Anyways there is some other good news today.  Apparently after the doctor left our room one of the nurses asked him about the continual fetal heartbeat monitoring and he said that it’s no longer needed!  From now on Little Fisk’s heart rate will be monitored about once every four hours for 30-40 minutes.  This is a major praise!  Little Fisk likes to move around and so in order for the instruments to pick up on it’s heartbeat they had to be tied rather tightly onto Julie’s tummy.  This means that now naps/sleep as well as bathroom breaks will be so much easier.

Julie is also on another 24 hour urine test to see how her pre-eclampsia is developing and if it is getting worse or not.  Results from that will be in later tomorrow afternoon.  The only bad spot today is that Julie’s blood pressure is still up from yesterday.  Although now that she is no longer constantly hooked up to machines she will be able to rest on her left side as well as rest easier in general.  Still we’re asking that any visitors simply let us know beforehand so that we can manage the amount of excitement in her life.

I can’t think of anything else other than to thank everyone who has supported us.  Julie and I have really felt the any extraneous stresses be lifted off of us as God has really put our needs into people’s hearts.  This is allowing us to not have to worry about anything besides how our little one is doing and for that we say a hearty Thank You!

Yeah it’s definitely time for me to go… during the course of writing this the Cubs have completely opened up and went from 2-1 up to 8-1 up in the fourth.  bah humbug.

P.S. Julie is snoring!